Adi's Life

I'm almost ready to go on my trip, pretty much all I have to do is pack. This week I went shopping and bought some new clothes. I'd have to say it is the most I've spent in a couple of days on clothing at once. I needed some dressier clothes for dinner though and a new bathing suit. I need to get another pair of shorts, but apparently it is too early in the year to get any. None of the stores in this town had them. I work every day until I go and I hope that it flies by.

Yesterday as I went to leave work I got to the road and my car went clunk. This is the best way that I can describe it. A clunk and then some weird noises, it was running but making horrible, horrible noises when I tried to go. So I turned it off and came back into work. Thank goodness I have BCAA, so I called a tow truck. I then called the garage I usually go to. Apparently they are so busy that they book a week in advance, but luck for me they had a cancellation for today at 1pm and they would squeeze me in. So now I am waiting for them to call and tell me what happened and how much it will cost to fix it. I hope it is not too much because I don't want to have to spend all my spending money for my trip on my car.

I can't seem to keep employees to save my life. Yesterday I had to fire the newest person I hired. She was very unreliable and made so many mistakes and then there was some money that was missing. That was the final staw and when she came in yesterday to work she didn't even question why she didn't have a job, she just walked out. I had a new girl start yesterday morning. I thought she was going to do great, she was asking lots of questions and actually trying things on the computer wich most people won't do on their first day. I got a call a little over an hour after she left, she said that she got another job offer and they are offering quite a bit more money and that she'd have to take that. I do have three interviews today. I'm hoping to hire one of them. I really only have time to train one person before I leave. But it would be good to have one more person trained so everybody doesn't have to work too much while I am gone. I guess we will see.

The whole staff shortage will never change. It is this town, there are too many jobs and people can bounce around to easy. If they don't get what they want they will just pick up and leave. They also think that they can do whatever and get away with it and we will keep them because we are short staffed. I won't keep people around. I'd rather work every day than deal with all the problems they have and mistakes they make.

I got a letter from the University that I applied to last week. They received my application and there are a few mor things they want. I don't think I'm going to get in, but I'll send them the rest of the documents anyway and see what they say. The reason I don't think that I'll get in is that want proof that I've done math 12. Well, this is pretty hard to prove since I have never done it. I don't really want to do it either, I'm not that great at math, wich is the reason I never did it in high school. If I don't get in here I can apply to my old college and go there, but I don't think I'd do that this year, or I could just keep doing it through correspondance at the university I'm enrolled in.

Either way I'm going to move to Abbotsford in September. I'm looking forward to this. My friends know, but I'm not telling anyone at work until I give my notice at the end of the summer. It is hard not to tell anyone. It will be hard to leave my job, as stressful as it is I do love it. It has been a great experience, but it is time to move on. Moving to the city also kind of scares me as well, I never ever in my life thought I'd live in the lower mainland. It will also be great to be a short drive and a ferry ride away from my family.

Life is great.

I can't believe two weeks until I go away. It has come up fast, although I think the next couple of weeks are going to drag by. I'm almost just as excited to see my boyfriend as I am to go on the cruise. I haven't really got to spend time with him since the beginning of the month. I'm taking two weeks off work and we have alot planned for the week after the cruise. It might not be the most relaxing vacation, but it is going to be alot of fun.

Our plans for the week after include going to Hells Gate for my birthday, out with his friends on the Tuesday, visiting my cousin, then Wednesday heading to the island to visit his grandparents and then going to my parents. He has to leave Friday as he has a wedding to be in and then on Saturday I fly back.

What a start to the week. Monday and I'm working 11.5 hours. Yuck. I guess thats happens when you send someone home though, so I can't whine too much.

Me and Chris are back together. We've talked a bunch in the last couple days and today he was in town and came to see me. It was very hard, but we talked and he told me that he got scared and that he shouldn't of did what he did. We talked about what we both want and along with everything else we both want to be with each other. I feel so much better.

Ok, so yesterdays post may have been a bit dramatic, but that is how I was feeling. So I figure I will share what happened even though it is a little hard.

On Tuesday night I got a call from Chris. This made me very happy because we haven't talked on the phone in a while, it has been all online. We are talking and he was telling me an idea he has been thinking about for doing for work. This was a relief for me because the night before he said he was thinking about something but he didn't want to talk about it at that time. Then he tells me there is also something else that he is thinking about. Well, this was a shock and surprise. He told me that he isn't ready for a relationship. This blew me out of the water. Not what I was expecting at all. I didn't even know what to say and all I could do was cry. To me everything had been going great. He was encouraging me to go back to school and even a couple nights ago he was looking online to see if he could find a place in Abbotsford that I could do yoga. We talked a bit, although I couldn't say much and then he had to go. He had taken the work truck down the road to where he could get cell reception, but he had to take it back because the other guy needed it. He told me that he didn't want to do that over the phone, but he doesn't know when he'll be back in town and didn't want to lead me on. Not lead me on! What about the last two months!?!?! We talked online a bit after that. I didn't stop crying until I fell asleep and yesterday it was hard to keep from crying. I did break down a couple times at work and had to go hide in the bathroom.

Last night I talked to him online and then he had to go to dinner. After dinner he phoned me. Apparently he does not feel so great and well, we all know how I feel. This is the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. He told me one of the reasons he ended it now was that he does like me and he has liked getting to know me and wants to still be friends and he figured that if he kept going with it and it didn't work out he'd lose me as a friend as well. I agree with him that I want him in my life even if it is just as friends. He is a really great guy.

Now your all probably wondering about our cruise. Well, that is still happening. At first we were going to cancel it and I was just going to go home for two weeks. Well, yesterday he talked to the travel agent and it sounds like we may only be able to get half our money back. We talked about it and when we first planned on doing this we were just friends and if we are going to still be friends we should be able to do things together. So yes we are going no matter what. It may be weird at first but we'll just have to get over it. It is still going to be alot of fun, and we both need to get away for a while. After the cruise I will just go home to visit my family for the week before coming back to work.

I still feel terrible and like the best thing ever has been taken away from me. I have come to realize that I don't get much of a choice because I can't change the way he feels. He asked me last night what I'm going to do and if I'm going to still go to school. Right now I'm not sure, I would still like to go to school and I have applied so I guess I'll just see. I do want to move back down south and be closer to my family but I will figure out what I'm going to do in the next little while.

My whole life has just been turned upside down and backwards. I don't know what to think or do. I'm even surprised I slept last night. I don't really want to get into it at this point and time because I feel that if I write about it then it is true and I may break down again, wich I don't really want to do being that I'm at work. I feel like a truck has run me over and then backed up to do it over and over again. My heart is torn into a million pieces and I don't know if it will ever be able to be fixed.

I'll be around, but I don't know how much posting I'll do and once I'm ready I'll share what happened.

It is about -40 celcius this morning with the wind chill. Too cold if you ask me. The cold made a not so great start to my day. My car would not start, I tried and tried, but it just wouldn't, and I even had it plugged in last night. So I called a cab and called work to tell them I was on my way. It took the cab 45 minutes to actually get to my house. So now I feel confused being at work later than I normally am.

For the last two weeks at the gym I go to they have been doing a food drive. If you brought in a bag of food you got to put you name in a draw. So I did this. Today they did a draw and I won one of the gift bags. This was cool, I never win anything. In it is a shirt, and a few little things.

Thats it, I'm never counting on having a day off again. My days off get ruined more often than they happened. I can't really disclose what happened but something happened to the girl that was supposed to work today and she isn't going to be able to work today. We got a call at work around 2am, so Linda called me and told me, so I had to get up at 5 to come to work. Thank goodness I went to bed early. I was really looking forward to today. The last day off I had was the 1st of the month. My plans for the day included reading in bed all morning, cross stiching in the afternoon and not getting out of my pj's. I have been told by the head housekeeper never to plan anything for a day off until it actually happens and that way I won't be disappointed when I get called in to work. Well, I guess I'll just have to wait until next weekend. Out of two and a half days off I should at least get one.

I have the most wonderful boyfriend, I think I'll keep him.

The last couple days I've been seriously considering finishing my degree. I only have two years left and would like to eventually get it. I am currently enrolled in Athabasca University wich is an open university. I've tried one course through them but ended up withdrawing. I figure if I started with something easier I would be able to do it. The advantage to doing it this way is that I can still work and would be able to afford each course as I did it, the drawback is that it would take anywhere from 5-10 years to finish, depending how fast I did each course. Another option I've been thinking about is going back to the colleg I started at. This September they are starting a Bachelor of Business Admin degree. It would be easy to get into as I did three years there and I know all my courses would count because they are from there. The only drawback is I would have to move back to the island wich I am not really planning on doing. Actually going to school full time I would not be able to work and I would have to take out student loans to do it.

So last night I was talking online to my boyfriend and telling him what I've been thinking about. We were talking about the different options and I was telling him what I thought of each. He is totally great and said that whatever I choose to do he will be behind me and help in whatever way he can. He also told me that if it is what I want to do the loans to pay for it will be worth it in the end. He also pointed me towards another school to take a look at. It is the University College of the Fraiser Valley. I was looking at their programs and the degree they have there looks very similar to the one at the other college. My only problem could be transferring what I've already taked there. Going there I still wouldn't be able to work and would have to have student loans, but it is in the area we are thinking about living in.

Other things I have to factor in is that I would like to do some travelling. I won't be albe to do this if I'm going to school. I guess I'm going to have to do some thinking about what I want to do and what type of job I want to get when I move. But it makes me happy to know that whatever I decide I have the support of my boyfriend.

I seem to have lost the ability to sleep well at night. It doesn't seem to matter how tired I am I toss and turn and wake up a million times. This is not fun. I drag my ass all day at work and then by dinner time I'm awake and then I'm too awake to go to bed early. Usually when I don't sleep well it is when I am taking naps in the after work and I haven't done that in a while. I'm thinking part of the problem is that I have alot on my mind and stress from work. I guess we'll see what this week brings.

Well after the one girl quit yesterday a girl came in with a resume. I interviewed her and hired her. She started this morning. She seems really nice and she was telling me that she plans on sticking around for a while. Wouldn't that be a bonus. I also have an interview tomorrow. If this woman wants the job I will have the most staff that I have had in a while wich would be really great. Not that I'm going to hold my breath or anything.

It's snowing again, can it stop now? I'm ready for it to be spring and some warm weather would be nice.

I've been really good about going to the gym still. I almost can't believe it. The way things are going I should be able to fit into my summer clothes by the time I go away in April. That will be really cool, I have some nice clothes that I haven't worn in over a year.

Last week I hired two new people. They have both showed up for all their training so far. I think they both may stay for a while. This makes me happy. One more week and I'll get my regularly scheduled weekends off. It is going to be great. Now maybe one or two more people will apply so I can hire them and have extra people.

Update: I should not of posted, this seems to have totally jinxed me. The second girl I hired phoned and quit not even five minutes after I hit post. Grrrr. Now I need some resumes and people. Today I just made the schedule for all of March, now I'll have to redo it. At least the one girl will stay, for a while I hope. At least long enough for me to go away would be nice.